It's been said that time does not pass rather we pass through time. As though time is still and we are the ones who make it move.
Have you ever noticed how one day can actually feel as long as a year or one year like a week? Why is that? The clock rotates at the same speed everyday, counting down the same amount of hours and minutes everyday. Yet somehow an hour listening to a boring speech can take a whole day, yet spending a week with your best friends feels like a minute.
All this has got me thinking about my absence from what I like to call the "real" world. The world where money needs to be earned, time needs to be spent and bills need to be paid. The real world that so many of us don't want to face or ignore the fact that their lives aren't all they cracked up to be.
I've been ignoring my "reality" for sometime now, because lets face it, some things in life are tough to face and the comfort zone becomes so cushy and inviting that the desire to actually live life fades and the killer comfort zone takes over.
For those of you who have ever suffered in a deep and traumatic way or know someone who has, then this blog is for you. If you have lost someone who means more to you than you could ever imagine or you have experienced something so painful that you never knew your heart could actually feel pain then you know all about what's coming.
For me it was my brother. One of 4 brothers and my closest in age. He was my light. He was the one that protected me from bullies in school ( more because he was a bigger bully than anything else). He showed me the way and kept me safe when I was scared shitless. Even as an adult whilst in Portugal, he watched and mentored me to get up on a surfboard. For days he watched me struggle and helped me every step of the way, sacrificing his own waves in the pursuit of watching me catch my first ever wave; just like so many things he sacrificed for me.
He was my hero, my best friend and my confidence. What has struck me in the last year since he died is how much such a tragedy can effect someones confidence and self worth. I have found it fascinating how an event happening to someone else can have sucha huge impact in that area.
Confidence can be so fragile, so fickle when it relies on other people. A shock to my system allowed me to spend the better part of a year not knowing who I was or what I stood for.
So what have I learnt? I always had my confidence levels high, but I didn't always know who I was. The death of my brother turned my world upside down, like I know happens so many times a day for people all around the world. I have learnt that I never really looked into who I was or perhaps more importantly the death of him made me see a different side of me.
There comes a time when we need to focus on who we are, what we value and why we are valuable. A great friend recently asked these questions of me and I suggest you do the same, it will be worthwhile for those who feel lost in who they are and where they are going.
What makes me beautiful? Emotionally? Spiritually? Physically and mentally?
What is it that makes me worthy? In relationships? In Business? In health and in love?
What makes me of Value?
What are my standards?
Therefore who am I?
Take the time for you this week, month or year to discover who you really are particularly if life has thrown you a " curve ball". Take all the time you need, because remember, we pass through time, time doesn't actually past.
Enjoy
Katie
