Comfort is a leading reason why are so many of us are dissatisfied in life and with who we are. Comfort is disabling and is the quickest way to being miserable.
We all love comfort right? Our favourite pair of tracksuit pants, a secure relationship or job or maybe a warm home cooked meal on a cold winters day. All these things are great and in fact certainty/comfort is one of the 6 core needs of a human. For some people it's their number one driver and again that's great. Our need for certainty and comfort can be met either resourcefully or unresourcefully and it's when it met in an unresourceful way that we become unhappy.
Think about it. Have you ever stayed in a relationship, friendship or even a job, simply because you know it's there? You know that you will have a pay check coming in, you know you will have someone to go out with and someone to come home too even though you also know how much more you have to give and how much more you deserve? Many relationships stay together simply because the thought of having to start all over again seems too hard and they would prefer to settle then to have a truly beautiful relationship.
This is what I call the Killer Comfort Zone. That place where the thought of change is too painful. The place where most people find themselves settling for a life less ordinary. The Zone of unmet expectations and unfulfilled dreams. The ultimate killer of confidence is comfort. For when we stay in our comfort zone we never truly know what we are made of, sure it's safe and warm and so very comfy, but what are we learning there, how are we growing if we never stretch ourselves?
I want you to visualize a time where your confidence was soaring. What did it look like? What sounds did you hear? How did you feel? What were the events that led to this confidence? More often than not confidence comes from stretching yourself, from stepping out of the comfort zone and giving something a go even if you don't quite get the result you wanted, aren't you proud of yourself for giving it a shot. Remember those times when you have stood up, stepped out and it's paid off? How amazing did you feel? Can you recall a time when you worked really hard at accomplishing something and really stretched yourself and ended up with a great result?
These are the times where our confidence is built. In moments when you don't think you can, when all you want to do is stay safe in the Killer Comfort Zone because you know exactly what it's like there and instead you choose to accept the challenge of life. You choose to feel the fear and act anyway because deep down you know that if you stay comfortable, you stay safe and isn't it true that life begins at the end of your comfort zone?
So if you want to have a happier and more fulfilled life where you love who you are and feel great about yourself, you need to step out of the zone. Staying safe gets you the same results you have always gotten, nothing can ever change if you don't. In order to change your results you must change the way you are and the quickest way to do that is to take action. You don't need to take massive action or take a giant leap out of your comfort zone, in fact for many of you that would be detrimental because too far out of the zone will be overwhelming and the safety of the comfort zone becomes even more appealing. Take "you" sized steps. Perhaps it's trying a new hobby, wearing a different item of clothing or perhaps going on that date you have been meaning too. The ultimate way to feed your need for comfort is by backing yourself, trusting in you and your abilities.
Whatever you do, get out of your comfort zone every day, get practising and see how fast and effective it is for building your confidence. Keep showing up, keep stretching yourself, for in the words of the founder of McDonald's, Ray Kroc says
" You are either green and growing or ripe and rotting"
Stay green everyone.
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