If you are not slim, pretty and popular then you don't deserve confidence

Well that’s what the media seems to be portraying these days. Female celebrities are attacked and criticised for not being real and displaying a false sense of being, but two pages later there 

are pictures of them without make up on looking like hell and made to feel awful about it.

So what is the media saying? Be yourself but only if you are slim, pretty and popular and even if you are slim, pretty and popular that these conditions are subject to public approval and commentary. As though in order to be liked and valued within society then it should appear that you are real, honest and ok with being who you are, providing that we don’t see your blemishes, cellulite and what you look like first thing in the morning without make up on. That you should only show your vulnerability on the inside and cover up how you really feel.

For too long we have listened to the standards of other people. We have been fed rubbish through the media that portrays the popular girls as the prettiest one, too bad for all of us regular looking ones. Scientific studies have shown that we actually believe someone who is better looking to be more trustworthy, more intelligent and have more talents than their not so good looking counterpart. Can you believe that?! We actually value them higher based on what they look like. Let’s be honest we all judge a book by a cover to some degree, this keeps us safe and serves as a warning if used correctly. The only problem that this poses is the underlying blanket belief around beauty. Beauty= Importance

Does that then mean that simply because you are better looking by our society’s standards that you should automatically feel good about yourself? That you should only walk with confidence and feel great about who you are if you fit perfectly into the box?  I remember a comment on a reality TV show years ago made by a guy that went something along the lines of “she is one of those fat confident chicks, she shouldn’t have confidence”, as though she didn’t deserve to love who she is. This mindset is staggering and I see evidence of it all the time. On a plane returning from Sydney just the other day, I watched a group of young men in their mid 20’s ogle over the very slim and pretty flight attendant. They made comments and stared at her, both of which I could see made her very uncomfortable. She lost confidence when they treated her that way and I could see how another “not so pretty” girl watching that, could feel less than worthy because of their behaviour towards her. They would have moved mountains for her, but there was no way they would even help me get my bag down from the overhead compartment. The parody of this is that through them placing value solely on what she looks likes made not only her lack 

confidence but those around her too.

This lesson tells us that we need to stop placing value on the physical and start to really value who each other are and what we stand for. Everyone deserves to feel great about who they are, 

not just the “pretty” people. Beauty fades, who you are should never.

I’d love to hear about your experiences of being judged based on what you look like and how that has affected your confidence.

Have a great week

Katie